For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their own husbands. 1 Peter 3:5
Holy (hágios) means likeness of nature with the Lord because different from the world.
So that means if we strive for holiness, it will require a willingness on our part to look different than the world. We will look different from the majority of those around us.
I love that 1 Peter 3:5 says that this is how the holy women would adorn themselves. To adorn (kosméō) is to beautify to make compellingly attractive, appealing, inviting)
The holy women in the Scriptures did this by submitting to their own husbands.
The word submit in the Greek is hypotássō- it to be under Gods arrangement, submitting to the Lord and his plan.
Paul gave the same instruction as Peter in Ephesians:
Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. Ephesians 5:22
So one specific way we make ourselves more beautiful in Gods sight, and a way to take on the imperishable beauty mentioned in 1 Peter 3 is to trust Gods plan by submitting to our husbands. Submitting to our husbands is just us yielding to Gods plans.
Submitting to our husbands is just us yielding to Gods plans
Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord. 1 Peter 3:6
That word lord is kýrios – a person exercising absolute ownership rights; lord (Lord). Sarah obeyed Abrahams voice as she would Gods. She would yield to him, not fearing anything that what frightening.
As women we often can be plagued with fear in allowing our husbands this control in our lives.
But this is Gods design.
We must start. And until we begin this journey, by leaning into this we will never experience marriage the way that God designed it.
Our husbands lead and grow into men, as we yield to them and allow them to learn from God and not our voices. A womans voice has great influence, you see that in the OT examples. Many women led their husbands and sons into very bad situations because they took control and led. We have to learn to go to God with our fears and not voice those over our husbands decisions and plans. God has placed our husbands over us as a part of his loving and gracious plan.
I have this reference list for wives that I continually refer to: Questions for a Godly Wife I use this as a self-examination tool. To check where I am at with who God has called me to be as a wife. It reminds me who God has called me to be.
We get stuck when we look at who we believe our husbands are supposed to be. We fall into the trap of comparison. Comparing who he is against the word of God and we become a judge instead of a helper.
Our husbands will grow into MEN and LEADERS as we step away from controlling and mothering. We are to help, build up, and support the callings our husbands have been given. And often that will look like dying to our own desire and our desire to control.
This is a question that God asks me regularly:
Are you helping your husband (Gen. 2:18) to attempt more and greater God-honoring feats (Prov. 31:23)?
As he considers striving for higher goals, and weighs his assets against his liabilities, which are you? Can he say, “The whole world may be against me, but I know I can count on God and my wife to be with me all the way?” Or must he sigh, “This will be challenging, and all the more so because I can never predict from hour to hour whether my wife will be my best friend or my worst and cruelest enemy”? Or worse still, must he groan, “I don’t see how I can even try this, since my wife will be cutting and tearing at me every step of the way”?
An excellent wife is the crown of her husband, but she who brings shame is like rottenness in his bones. Proverbs 12:4
Its time we grow up into the role that God has called us to be as women.