“Tension led me here; now God is making a mess of things. I sense God preparing me for change. My sensitivity is peaking; noteworthy, because I have the sensitivity of a thirteen-year old boy. I feel raw and less attached to things. Scripture is pouncing on my brain like a panther. Its like when I first got glasses and couldn’t get over how clear everything was. And I walked weird because my perception was altered. I kept shouting, “Look at all the leaves! I can see every leaf on the tree!” like it was a miracle after having been impaired so long.
I have no idea what this means, but my hands are opening. I know my next phase of life is not going to look the same.
Obedience isn’t lack of fear. Its just doing it scared.”
Tension is the act of stretching or straining something for a specific purpose. This can come in the form of intense mental or emotional strain, or manifest itself when suppressed in suspense or anxiety.
God uses tension when he is moving me too. Obedience isn’t doing something with courage. It is doing something scared. I had to laugh. The majority of these last 7 years since God rescued me from the miry pit have been a series of tension and relief, tension and relief. In some ways you could compare my life to a bungee cord.
I like the verb definition of tension: to subject (a cable, belt, tendon, or the like) to tension, especially for a specific purpose.
But the Lord said to him, “Go, for he is a chosen instrument of mine to carry my name before the Gentiles and kings and the children of Israel. Acts 9:15
Upon salvation we are all chosen for a specific purpose. Chosen instruments. And God moves us with tension. Tension in itself isn’t a bad thing. God uses tension to identify Himself. Resistance is where it gets sinful. Where we begin pulling back and fighting the stretching.
“You stiff-necked people, uncircumcised in heart and ears, you always resist the Holy Spirit. As your fathers did, so do you. Acts 7:51
I feel like in seasons like this. God continually reminds me of this verse. He reminds me that those who walked before me were stubborn, resistant to change, resistant to the uncomfortable. This ultimately is resistance to the Holy Spirit. We can call it what we like but when we feel the tension in our spirits and we pull away, shrink back or resist. We are disobeying and resisting the One True Living God.
But my righteous one shall live by faith, and if he shrinks back, my soul has no pleasure in him. But we are not of those who shrink back and are destroyed, but of those who have faith and preserve their souls. Hebrews 10:38-39
God give we as that you would give us FAITH to move us where our trust is without borders. We open our hands to you. We move in faith. In the unseen. We move even when it seems like we may fall. Grow our Faith God.